EU Questions & Answers

damo74, on 17 August 2012 - 06:38 PM, said: Face it folks the E100 has ceased to be, It is an ex-tank......
Player: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
Dev: We're closin' for lunch.
Player: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this E100 what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Dev: Oh yes, the, uh, the big German one...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Player: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Dev: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Player: Look, matey, I know a dead tank when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Dev: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable tank, the E100, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Player: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Dev: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Player: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the tank) 'Ello, Mister tanky wanky! I've got a lovely fresh loltractor for you.
Dev: There, he moved!
Player: No, he didn't, that was you hitting it!
Dev: I never!!
Player: Yes, you did!
Dev: I never, never did anything...
Player: (yelling and hitting the tank repeatedly) 'ELLO FRITZ!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! (Takes tank out of the garage and thumps its turret on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Player: Now that's what I call a dead tank.
Dev: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Player: STUNNED?!?
Dev: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! E100s stun easily.
Player: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That tank is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of usefulness was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged nerf.
Dev: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the rhineland.
Player: PININ' for the RHINELAND?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he explode the moment I got 'im home?
Dev: The E100 prefers being on fire! Remarkable tank, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Player: Look, I took the liberty of examining that tank when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Dev: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that tank down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its 15cm peashooter, and VROOM! Feeweeweewee!
Player: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this tank wouldn't "vroom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Dev: No no! 'E's pining!
Player: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This E100 is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-TANK!!
(pause)
Dev: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of decent teir 10 German tanks.
Player: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Dev: I got a stug.
(pause)
Player: Pray, does it have a chance against a T110E5?
Dev: Nnnnot really.
Player: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Dev: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Player: Well.
(pause)
Dev: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Player: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.